we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
