dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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