Is it normal to miss your booty call?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
