How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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