you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
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