I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
