where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
