i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
