I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize