I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize