i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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