awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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