It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
