Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
