Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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