I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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