Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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