Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
