How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize