He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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