I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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