wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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