The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize