Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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