Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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