can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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