Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i think my cat just said my name.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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