3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize