mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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