I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
