He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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