Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize