Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
