he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
