I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
