i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
