That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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