took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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