broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
