dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
