bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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