No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
