Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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