I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
