I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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