your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
