Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
