We won't sleep together?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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