he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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