drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
