rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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