If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
