I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
