If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
