Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it's not cheating when I paid for it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize