Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize