dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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