sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
