his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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