I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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