OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
vagina is talking i cant
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
