Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
