is your mom at the bar?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize