just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
